The temperature of my relationship with that cranky-ass fuck Donald Trump is well known. But well documented? That’s a big no until meow. Or, more accurately, until a week ago when I wrote the first episode of this epic tail. So put down that ribbon and find a comfortable cardboard box, because now the saga continues.
Hahaha. Oh man. If you read cat, you’ll know why I’m laughing. This tweet is everything.
Meow!! Meow. Meoooow @realDonaldTrump
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) September 20, 2014
When I’m right, I’m right. Too bad I was a Twitter novice back then and tweeted in a way that only my Donald Trump following followers (of which I hope there are none) would see my tweet. Weak Twitter game, Bitches. Super weak.
I mean, if this dude eats Wheaties for breakfast, General Mills should sue his ass.
From a man who is unable to think? RT @realDonaldTrump: “Do more, be more, give more–and everyone will benefit.” – Think Like a Champion
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) September 24, 2014
I don’t know why I gave up on #fuckyoufriday. That hashtag was legit.
It’s truly remarkable how Donald Trump tries to package every rejection and repudiation of his shitty values as some kind of win by him. When he’s not elected President, he’s gonna be like “Glad I didn’t become President. This country wasn’t ready for my kind of unfiltered buffoonery anyway.”
You’re an idiot @realDonaldTrump
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) October 10, 2014
Angry. He’s an angry little man.
Devil. Devil man. 666.
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) November 15, 2014
What?!?! Yeaaaahhhh! Okay!!
Oh you didn’t think cats knew about irony?
Irony is @realDonaldTrump tweeting a quote about strength of character.
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) November 20, 2014
It’s tweets like this that still make me wonder why I didn’t win the Mayoral election.
If I’m Purresident, I’m totally going to make this happen. We’ll build a little wall around him.
I wish America was Survivor, so we could vote @realDonaldTrump off the island.
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) November 28, 2014
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for a cat on Twitter giving Donald Trump the business.
Hey @realDonaldTrump. Maybe someone will get you a heart or a brain or some courage for Christmas, you punk ass bitch.
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) December 24, 2014
This didn’t happen. But again. When I’m Purresident.
I’d imagine that Donald Trump thinks this year is going pretty well for him, despite being dropped by NBC, by Macy’s, and so many more. Unfortunately, I can say without a doubt, because of Trump, everything is not awesome for everyone else. Let’s turn this around in 2016.
Fuck you @realDonaldTrump. I hope this year sucks for you. I hope it’s awesome for everyone else.
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) January 1, 2015
If you read cat, this one might make you blush.
I should probably consider making a second Twitter account for the day that Twitter decides to care about my tweets to Donald Trump. It’s not like I’m leaving an organized Al Capone like ledger of our interactions behind for them or anything.
— A Cat Named Bitches (@BitchestheCat) January 11, 2015
And that folks is the end of part two of every tweet I’ve ever sent Donald Trump. Time for a nap.